Mid-Life Transitions
The great psychologist Erik Erikson believed that identity has its origins in adolescence. He was probably correct, but only in part. While we begin to shape our identity in middle school and high school, the process comes to fruition in "mid-life" - at about 40 years of age and afterwards. After having lived a good life - career, relationships, perhaps children and marriage, success and failure - it in mid-life that we have the opportunity to confront and embrace who we really are.Mid-life is a truly interesting time. During this period, life takes on a sense of urgency. It is no longer about satisfying parents or cultural expectations, but rather about defining and living one's own journey. Marriage is enriched or confronted, career is reevaluated, self-care is assessed. For women, mid-life carries its own power. What do I really want for my kids? For myself? Is spiritual life important to me? If so, what kind of practice is meaningful? Do I know how to love another adult? How do I continue to thrive as I age and face natural biological changes?
The verb "to decide" comes from the Latin root "to cut" - so, to make an incision is to cut in, and to make a decision is to cut off. When we make a decision in youth (marriage, career, friends) we cut off other opportunities. Now, in mid-life, another voice often begins to call. This voice is what Carl Jung labeled "the unlived life."
For some, the mid-life period is tumultuous and disruptive, while for others it is a time for introspection. A client might look to therapy at this time because of depression, or because of anxiety, marital conflict, or simply an unhappy emptiness. The first aim of treatment is to address this presenting problem. The second aim is to address the mid-life issue that fueled this problem. Finally, the identity that requires attention needs to be understood and lived.
